Change is hard

It is! No matter how good or bad the change is or how beneficial the change may be it is hard. 

The struggle to hold on to what was and the pain of the morphing process.

I have just realized tonight that I am in the morphing stage. It is painful and so far I feel I am handling some things poorly. I feel good with the idea of letting go to what was...I think. Time I guess will only tell but for all sense and purposes right now I feel good with that.

But the morphing feels out of control. Feels raw and exposed. And with that comes emotions. Anger, frustration, disappointment, loss, control, insecurity and fear. And that makes me want to give up and throw in the towel.

I want to finish well but all efforts seem thwarted, which cause the emotions to come back and make me want to give up all over again. This is very draining and perhaps, for more than just me.

I know that in time the morphing will finish and a new me will emerge. New experiences will await. The old is gone and the new is with each step. What happens is all unknown. However, with emerging comes choice... 

I will either fall or learn to fly. 

 

Will I  have the courage and the freedom that comes with trying out new wings?

Good Family Times

This Holiday weekend was a very nice Christmas weekend away. But first I had to share tis picture. Isn't it sweet!! I love it. 

Our Christmas traditions started with us ice skating. We have tried to do this the past 3 years and each year has not been very much fun due to the fact that the girls were so little and we all but had to carry them on the ice. And considering we can barely skate ourselves proved to be a slow and painful process. But we keep trying because we just keep thinking it will only get better right? The older they get the more they will skate on there own and the more fun we all will have. I think that still may be true but we aren't there just yet. 

Lindsey did finally use a little walker type thing and then she was cruisin' and loving it. However, Emily wasn't up to the challenge yet. So It meant her and I hugged the side, going  a woppin MACH .000019 MPH!! I think we made it around 2.5 times before my feet started screeming in pain. So I took a little rest - hence the below picture. We will keep trying!!! 

The next couple of years will tell for sure if we should come up with a different tradition or keep going with it.
We then spent a few days with my family. Had an amazingly yummy Prim Rib dinner that my mother spoiled us with and then enjoyed Christmas evening visiting and playing games. The following day was laid back and restful, in the evening we went out with some friends of ours and had some hours child free. Much appreciated since that does not happen too often.

And today we wrapped up the day just the four of us downtown Seattle. Riding the monorail, which the girls loved and shopping at Westfair and then ride up to the observation deck of the Space Needle where we took this picture...
Pretty neat huh? Too bad it did not have the space needle in it too but this is pretty cool!

And finally when we saw this - I just had to take a picture of it.
HUGE Tire!! I have no idea what kind of machine takes such a big tire. There were 2 on back of this trailer. Have  a Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas From the Foxs

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... CHILLY and FROSTY

I am thinking...that this weekend will be a lot about me being in bed since I have a cold.

I am thankful for...my daughters that make me smile and laugh.

I am reading... Twilight (again) and a few plays.

I am hoping... to finally get to my christmas decorations this weekend, but maybe not if I feel worse.

On my mind... our play - we are doing "The Foreigner" check us out www.altatheatre.com

From the kitchen... not much to say... I have food.

Around the house... some clutter that I HAVE to get to and reminders that I have small children. ;)

One of my favorite things...decorating the Christmas tree.

A few plans for the rest of the week...put up Christmas decor, sleep and rest and get to some house cleaning!!